Quick Take
- Narration: Rupert Holliday Evans brings steady, considered authority to the material, the right register for a book asking readers to slow down and think hard about embedded assumptions.
- Themes: Toxic masculinity in education, pastoral care, academic underachievement
- Mood: Challenging and reflective, with practical grounding
- Verdict: A well-researched, honestly argued book that should be read by every secondary teacher who has ever written off a disengaged boy, and by those who think they have the answer for engaging them.
I was halfway through my morning commute when Matt Pinkett named the strategy I have heard confidently recommended at almost every education conference I have ever attended: compete more, challenge boys with leaderboards, turn everything into a contest. Boys love competition, the conventional wisdom goes. And Pinkett’s response, backed by research, is essentially: that conventional wisdom is doing serious damage.
Boys Don’t Try came out of Pinkett’s classroom experience and a growing unease with the contradiction between what schools say they want for boys and what they actually do to and for them. Co-written with Mark Roberts, the book runs through anxiety, achievement, behaviour, bullying, self-esteem, pornography, peer pressure, and relationships with a consistency of argument that is rare in education writing aimed at a general professional audience.
The Research They Do Not Want You to Read
One of the book’s genuine strengths is its willingness to expose the gap between popular engagement strategies and the evidence for their effectiveness. The authors spend considerable time on what they call “misguided” approaches to engaging boys: gender-stereotyped teaching materials, separating boys into their own classes, and precisely that competitiveness myth. They point to studies showing that these approaches can reinforce the damaging performance of masculinity rather than giving boys permission to try, to struggle, and to ask for help.
A reviewer with twenty years of classroom experience described light bulbs going off as they read. That metaphor captures something real about the book’s effect. It recontextualises situations most experienced teachers have encountered but perhaps not connected to the underlying masculinity dynamic. Why do certain boys resist help so visibly? Why does vulnerability feel like such a high cost in a classroom setting? Pinkett and Roberts do not offer shallow answers.
What “Not Trying” Actually Protects
The book’s most intellectually compelling section, for me, is its treatment of effort and identity. The authors argue that for many boys, not trying is a rational self-protective strategy. If you do not try, you cannot fail. Failure in front of peers carries a different weight for boys whose sense of self is entangled with a performance of toughness and competence. This connects to the chapters on anxiety and self-esteem without the argument becoming circular. Pinkett and Roberts are clear that the solution is not to simply demand that boys try harder but to change the conditions that make not trying feel safe.
Rupert Holliday Evans narrates without pushing emotional interpretation onto the material, which is exactly right for a book that asks the listener to do their own thinking. The three-part chapter structure the authors use, covering stories, research, and practical strategies, translates well to audio, giving each section a clear shape.
The Pastoral Care Gap
A chapter that has stayed with me covers what schools consistently miss in pastoral care for boys. Pinkett and Roberts identify how pastoral systems often reward the kind of self-disclosure that boys have been socialised not to perform, making those systems effectively inaccessible to many of the students who need them most. The practical suggestions here are specific enough to be immediately useful: how to frame conversations, how to create low-stakes moments for boys to surface difficulties, and how to avoid inadvertently reinforcing the idea that needing support is weakness.
The book does not sidestep the uncomfortable implications for female students. The introduction is clear that traditional masculinity norms harm girls too, through sexism, entitlement, and the normalisation of aggressive behaviour, and that challenging those norms is in the interest of everyone in a school community.
Who Should Listen / Who Should Skip
Secondary teachers will get the most out of this, but primary teachers working with older children, pastoral leads, school counsellors, and parents of adolescent boys should all find it valuable. One reviewer noted a slight structural overlap between chapters, which is a fair criticism; the three-part format sometimes revisits ground already covered. For audio listeners, this can feel more noticeable than in print. If you are already deeply embedded in the research on masculinity and education, much of the first half will be familiar territory. But the practical strategies in the final sections justify the listening time even for those who know the literature.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does the book address how to handle boys who already display harmful masculine behaviours rather than just preventing them?
Yes. There are dedicated sections on responding to poor behaviour, bullying, and sexist attitudes. The authors make a distinction between avoiding problematic behaviour through culture change and responding effectively when harmful behaviour does occur, and they provide specific strategies for both.
How does the book treat the relationship between disadvantage and masculine identity in schools?
Disadvantage is addressed directly as a factor that intensifies the pressures around masculine performance. The authors acknowledge that boys from economically deprived backgrounds often face compound pressures, where family expectations, community norms, and school culture interact in ways that make disengagement feel like the only coherent identity available.
Is this book relevant outside the UK school context?
The research base draws on international studies, and the arguments about masculinity, self-protective disengagement, and peer pressure are not specific to the English school system. US, Australian, and other English-speaking educators have found the book applicable to their settings, though specific policy references are British.
With 558 ratings at 4.6, does the audio version match the quality of the print edition?
The audiobook’s chapter-by-chapter structure follows the print edition closely, and Rupert Holliday Evans’s narration handles the dual-author format without awkwardness. The practical checklists are read aloud in full, though print listeners who use them as working documents may prefer to have the book alongside.
