Quick Take
- Narration: Self-narrated by Vanzant, whose warm authority and preacher cadence give the metaphorical framework genuine emotional power; this is a voice that has lived what it is describing.
- Themes: Self-preparation for love, emotional house-cleaning, the work between relationships
- Mood: Warm, direct, and spiritually grounded without being dogmatic
- Verdict: A self-help audiobook that has earned long-term devotion through genuine insight rather than trend-chasing; still relevant nearly three decades after first publication.
In The Meantime is one of those books that has been silently circulating for decades, passed between friends, pressed into the hands of people going through breakups or sitting in that particular limbo of knowing a relationship is not right and not knowing how to leave it. Iyanla Vanzant published it in 1998 and it has never stopped finding readers. I listened to it on a long Sunday, having heard about it from three separate people in the same month. That kind of recurrence tends to mean something.
The book takes a single organizing metaphor and executes it with complete commitment. Being in the meantime is Vanzant’s term for the state of romantic limbo: not happy where you are, not quite ready or able to leave, suspended between the relationship you have and the love you want. Her prescription is house-cleaning, and she takes that metaphor literally through every room of a house, from the basement where you store the most destructive patterns and beliefs up through the living spaces to the attic. Each room corresponds to a layer of emotional and psychological work. By the time you get to the front door, the idea is that you have cleaned enough to welcome love in properly.
Our Take on In The Meantime
The metaphor sounds schematic, and it is. That is also why it works. Vanzant is not asking you to engage with abstract psychological theory; she is asking you to think about what you keep in your basement and what happens when you bring those things upstairs. The concreteness of the image makes difficult self-examination feel manageable. Reviewer Arlett H., who has been using this book for productive reflection and inner peace for years, identifies the effect accurately: emotional and spiritual maturity as a result. That is a different claim than most self-help books make, and it is a more honest one.
The book’s age is worth addressing. Vanzant published In The Meantime in 1998, and some of its cultural references and framing are of their moment. But the core argument about preparing yourself for love rather than waiting passively for the right person to arrive is not dated. The house metaphor is not dated. The questions Vanzant asks in each chapter are not dated. This is one of those self-help books that survives its decade because it is making a genuinely useful argument rather than reflecting a trend.
Why Listen to In The Meantime
Vanzant narrating her own work is the correct version of this audiobook. Her delivery combines warmth and directness in a way that recalls both her television presence and the revival-meeting cadence of her earlier speaking career. She does not deliver this material as a lecture or a guided meditation; she delivers it as someone who has been in the meantime herself and found a way through. That credibility lives in her voice in a way a professional narrator could not manufacture.
Reviewer Melodie Mobley notes she has purchased this book approximately ten times as a gift for single friends navigating the longing to be in a relationship while struggling with being alone. That pattern of gifting suggests something about how the book functions in real life: it arrives when it is needed, and it tends to be useful.
What to Watch For in In The Meantime
Vanzant’s frame of reference is broadly spiritual without being tied to a specific religious tradition, though her African American Christian cultural background is present in the cadence and some of the language. Listeners who are looking for secular psychological self-help may find the spiritual framing more present than expected. It is not heavy-handed, but it is there.
The book is explicitly about romantic love and the work of preparing for it. Listeners who have processed their romantic situation thoroughly and are looking for ongoing maintenance of a functioning relationship will find less here than those who are specifically in the in-between state Vanzant describes. This is diagnosis and preparation, not relationship maintenance.
Who Should Listen to In The Meantime
This is the audiobook for anyone who has been in the meantime: between relationships, in a relationship they know is wrong, or in the particular frustration of wanting love and not understanding why it is not arriving. Vanzant’s house-cleaning framework is practical enough to actually use and honest enough about why the work is hard. The self-narration makes it feel like receiving counsel from someone who has genuine experience rather than credentials. For its specific audience, it remains one of the more useful things you can do with 13 hours.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is In The Meantime still relevant given that it was published in 1998?
Yes. The core argument about preparing yourself for love through honest self-examination is not time-dependent, and the house-cleaning metaphor translates across decades. Some cultural references are dated, but the substance holds up.
Is this a religious book or a secular self-help book?
It is broadly spiritual with African American Christian cultural influences in Vanzant’s language and cadence. It is not tied to a specific denomination and does not require religious belief, but listeners expecting purely secular psychology will encounter spiritual framing throughout.
Does In The Meantime address people currently in unsatisfying relationships, or only people between relationships?
Both. Vanzant’s meantime includes being in a relationship you know is not right but have not left, as well as being between relationships. The house-cleaning framework applies to both states.
How does Vanzant’s self-narration compare to her television presence for listeners familiar with her Fix My Life work?
The warmth and directness are consistent with her television persona, but the narration is more intimate and less performance-oriented. Listeners who found her television approach compelling will find the audiobook version even more personal.
