BDSM: The Ultimate Handbook for the Dom and Sub: Training for Pleasure
Audiobook & Ebook

BDSM: The Ultimate Handbook for the Dom and Sub: Training for Pleasure by Richard Welps | Audiobook Review

Part of Pain and Pleasure #1

By Richard Welps

Narrated by Benjamin Holmes

🎧 2 hours and 8 minutes 📘 Richard Welps 📅 June 25, 2018 🌐 English

About This Audiobook

Have you ever thought about indulging in BDSM, but don’t know where to start?

Have you ever wanted to pleasure your partner while assuming dominance over them, but didn't know where to begin? Are you someone who’s been curious about exploring kink, but don’t know where to begin?

Well, you’re in luck, for this book will tell you everything that you need to know to have a basic understanding of BDSM.

With this audiobook, you’ll be able to understand BDSM for what it is, not just as something that’s been discussed in 50 Shades of Grey, but realistic, actual understanding of this subject. There are a lot of misconceptions surrounding BDSM and kink culture, and sometimes, it’s hard to find the truth, and what you should and shouldn’t be doing. But, you’re in luck, for this audiobook will tell you everything you need to know about BDSM, and how to pleasure your partner.

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Before You Press Play

  • Narrator: Benjamin Holmes keeps the material matter-of-fact and unembarrassed, which suits an instructional guide rather than a titillation piece.
  • Subjects: BDSM basics, consent and negotiation, dispelling pop-culture myths.
  • Tone: Direct, educational, adults-only.
  • Bottom line: A solid, short primer for genuine beginners, though not enough for anyone already past the basics.

Fifty Shades of Grey gets a direct callout early in this audiobook, and not as a compliment. Richard Welps wants listeners to understand that his subject is a negotiated, consent-based practice, not the glossy fantasy version a certain bestselling trilogy sold to millions of readers who never set foot in an actual scene. This audiobook, the first entry in Welps's Pain and Pleasure series, runs just over two hours and is narrated by Benjamin Holmes in a register that stays closer to a health class than a romance novel, aimed squarely at listeners who are curious about BDSM but genuinely do not know where to start.

Welps Distances This from Fifty Shades

The book positions itself as a basics-first primer, addressing common misconceptions head-on and walking curious beginners through what dominance and submission actually involve as a practiced, structured activity rather than a vague fantasy. It draws an explicit line between pop-culture depictions and real-world practice, which is a reasonable and useful framing for anyone whose only reference point is mainstream erotica. Welps writes as someone conversant in the practical, everyday reality of BDSM practice rather than as an outside academic observer, and that grounded, practitioner-level voice comes through even in a guide this condensed, giving beginners a sense of lived experience behind the instruction rather than secondhand or purely theoretical advice.

Structurally, the book reads as straightforward instruction rather than narrative or memoir, closer to a how-to guide than a story with lessons embedded in it. That directness is part of the appeal for the audience it is clearly written for: people who want practical grounding, not a slow-burn fictional seduction.

As the first book in a series, it is positioned as an entry point rather than a comprehensive final word, establishing foundational vocabulary and concepts that later volumes presumably build on. Listeners should treat this specifically as a starting primer rather than an exhaustive reference.

Audio is a genuinely useful format choice for this specific subject matter. A private, resealable listening experience, headphones rather than a physical book someone might see on a nightstand or a shelf, lowers the barrier for genuinely curious beginners who might hesitate to buy or display print material on the topic. That discretion is worth naming as a real advantage of the audiobook format here, not just a general nonfiction convenience.

The word 'training' in the subtitle is worth taking literally rather than as marketing flourish. The book frames dominance and submission as a skill built through repetition, communication, and adjustment over time, not a single technique to be mastered in one sitting, which is a more honest and more useful framing than a lot of adjacent content in this space offers.

The book's short length also reflects its genre conventions honestly rather than padding out a slim subject to justify a higher price point. Two hours is a reasonable, even generous, runtime for a focused basics primer, and stretching the same core material across a longer runtime would likely have diluted rather than strengthened its usefulness for the beginner audience it is built for.

Benjamin Holmes Treats This as Real Education

Reviewers consistently praise the book's directness. One called it 'excellent, well written, straight to the point and very up to date,' adding it was educational enough to want to revisit. Another, writing more broadly, called it 'very helpful and informative' and recommended it specifically for beginners and anyone curious rather than already experienced.

Benjamin Holmes's narration matters more than it might for a typical nonfiction title, since tone is doing real work here: a matter-of-fact, unembarrassed delivery treats the subject as legitimate practical education rather than performance, which is exactly the register this kind of instructional content needs to land as trustworthy rather than salacious.

Instructional audio about sex and power dynamics has a narrow, specific tonal needle to thread: too clinical and it reads as a textbook stripped of any warmth, too performative and it curdles into something closer to fantasy than genuine education. Holmes's delivery, according to the available reviews, lands closer to the informative end without tipping into cold detachment, which is the harder and more useful register for a book explicitly positioned as instruction rather than fantasy.

The book's short runtime works in its favor for this specific purpose. At just over two hours, it functions like a focused briefing rather than a sprawling reference, easy to finish in a single sitting for someone who wants a clear foundational understanding before exploring further, whether through later series entries or other resources.

Just the Very Basics, Some Rough Editing

One reviewer, while recommending the book overall for newcomers, noted the editing 'makes some sentences hard to read,' a real craft caveat worth knowing about going in, even if it did not undermine the book's usefulness for that particular listener.

That same reviewer was explicit that the book covers 'the very basics' and is not intended for anyone with real experience already, useful only as a refresher if prior learning was flawed. Listeners who already have working BDSM knowledge should expect this to feel introductory rather than revelatory.

At just over two hours, the book by design does not attempt exhaustive coverage of safety protocols, aftercare, or advanced technique, the kind of depth a longer, more clinical guide might offer. It is a starting point, and listeners with serious safety questions should plan to supplement it with more specialized resources.

As the first entry in the Pain and Pleasure series, this book's two hundred and twenty-three ratings represent a reasonably solid base for a short, independently published instructional title in this specific niche, though listeners should expect later volumes in the series to have thinner review histories simply by virtue of being newer, a pattern common to ongoing indie series regardless of genre.

Curious Beginners and Couples Should Start Here

This audiobook suits curious beginners and couples who want a shared vocabulary and basic safety framework before exploring BDSM together, particularly listeners whose main reference point has been mainstream fiction rather than any real practical grounding.

It is also a reasonable, low-commitment way to test genuine interest in the subject before investing in longer or more specialized instructional material, given the short runtime and direct, unembarrassed tone.

Listeners specifically drawn to the series structure, book one of an ongoing Pain and Pleasure line, should treat this purchase as a foundation for later, presumably more advanced installments rather than a complete standalone education in the subject, budgeting for follow-up volumes if the format and Welps's approach resonate.

Experienced practitioners looking for advanced technique, and anyone uncomfortable with frank instructional content about sex and power dynamics, should skip this one; it is built for genuine beginners, not as a reference for people already established in the lifestyle.

Is this audiobook appropriate for BDSM beginners?

Yes, it is specifically built for beginners. Reviewers describe it as covering 'the very basics' and recommend it for anyone curious but new to the subject.

How explicit is the content in this audiobook?

It is instructional and frank rather than narrative erotica, discussing dominance, submission, and technique directly, but in an educational register rather than a titillating one.

Does this cover BDSM safety and consent, not just technique?

The synopsis and reviews emphasize foundational understanding and dispelling misconceptions, though listeners with serious safety or aftercare questions should supplement this short primer with more specialized resources.

Is this the same as the Fifty Shades of Grey version of BDSM?

No, and the book is explicit about that distinction. It positions itself against the glossy fictional version and focuses on how real, consent-based BDSM practice actually works.

What Listeners Are Saying

★★★★★

Great

Excellent well written straight to the point and very up to date. Truly well thought out and educational. I would read it again

- Kindle Customer
★★★★☆

Good for the very basics.

This is good for people who are just getting into this lifestyle. It covers the very basics. Not exactly for anyone who has experience unless they need a refresher due to incorrect learning/training. I took a star away because the editing makes some sentences hard to read.

- Kimberly Doolin
★★★★★

Very helpful and educational

Very helpful and informative and very educational a definite recommend. Must read if beginner and for anyone interested in trying or curious.

- Steven S.
★★★☆☆

BDSM... Broken down to easy steps.

I liked how the author is taking this lifestyle and breaking it down slowly. They are shorter books , so easy to read and understand. However, there are a few grammatical errors and spelling issues. Nothing that stops the premise, but i'm a nut with this kind of stuff. Overall,...

- Rod Shaw
★★★★★

Good read altogether

Read it for yourself, whatever floats your boat kind of thing. I love the information but to each their own.

- Tasha

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Alexandra Reed

Written by Alexandra Reed

Founder & Literary Critic